Miso soup + tofu + artichoke!
Nom nom nom.
Just watched: Revolutionary Road
Almost done reading: The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty
Currently hating: meth
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
2005
A lot went on, my eighth grade year.
My dad got a girlfriend.
My mom got a boyfriend.
My grandma died.
I went to my first concert.
I became infatuated for the first time.
I said goodbye to the only life and people I'd known for the previous 7 years.
I lost the strongest woman I ever knew, and met the most heart-breaking I have yet to know.
And in the spring of this eighth grade year, a message in the form of music called out to me, and I listened. Oh, I listened.
It was growing up, and it was sunny. I even probably was a little tan.
Singing in the hallways, singing at recess, smiles & laughter with friends I'd never be that close to again.
With gowns that blue, there was no doubt they were trying to warn us, "the end of childhood is near!"
2005 is the year of American Idiot
: the gradual descent of innocence.
My dad got a girlfriend.
My mom got a boyfriend.
My grandma died.
I went to my first concert.
I became infatuated for the first time.
I said goodbye to the only life and people I'd known for the previous 7 years.
I lost the strongest woman I ever knew, and met the most heart-breaking I have yet to know.
And in the spring of this eighth grade year, a message in the form of music called out to me, and I listened. Oh, I listened.
It was growing up, and it was sunny. I even probably was a little tan.
Singing in the hallways, singing at recess, smiles & laughter with friends I'd never be that close to again.
With gowns that blue, there was no doubt they were trying to warn us, "the end of childhood is near!"
2005 is the year of American Idiot
: the gradual descent of innocence.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
What You Don't Know
First off: The Colbert Report
is excellent background noise.
I never had much background noise in my life before Emilee. It takes a bit of getting used to, but that's okay with me at the moment.
Favorite song of the moment: "What You Don't Know" by Jonatha Brooke.
The theme song for Dollhouse
is based off of this song.
It's kind of pop-y. Her voice can be annoying/whining. But I really like the lyrics, and I really like this show.
And I'm really bummed that the second season
is not available on instant netflix, like the first one is. Probably because it just came out. Haha. Or was cancelled. I don't know exactly.
New background noise: The West Wing, Season 3.
I think I'm gonna draw a little, tonight.
is excellent background noise.I never had much background noise in my life before Emilee. It takes a bit of getting used to, but that's okay with me at the moment.
Favorite song of the moment: "What You Don't Know" by Jonatha Brooke.
The theme song for Dollhouse
is based off of this song.What you don't know wont hurt you.
Maybe their lies are true.
Try and remember, try to forget those yesterdays beatings too.
I'm already going,
Maybe their lies are true.
Try and remember, try to forget those yesterdays beatings too.
I'm already going,
I'm already gone.
There's a stranger in my place.
You'll never find me,
But I'll get along,
Cause the angels know my face.
You'll never see me coming.
You'll never know my name.
Try to remember, try to forget,
There's a stranger in my place.
You'll never find me,
But I'll get along,
Cause the angels know my face.
You'll never see me coming.
You'll never know my name.
Try to remember, try to forget,
But you'll never be the same.
I can do anything,
I can go anywhere,
I can be anything,
For anyone tonight
I can do anything,
I can go anywhere,
I can be anything,
For anyone tonight
...Just let me sleep for a little while
...Just wanna sleep for a little while.
It's kind of pop-y. Her voice can be annoying/whining. But I really like the lyrics, and I really like this show.
And I'm really bummed that the second season
is not available on instant netflix, like the first one is. Probably because it just came out. Haha. Or was cancelled. I don't know exactly.New background noise: The West Wing, Season 3.
I think I'm gonna draw a little, tonight.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Train Under Water
Last movie watched: White Oleander
(Read the book as well, which was very intense but very well written.)
(Read the book as well, which was very intense but very well written.)TV show addiction: Dollhouse: Season One (Available on instant netflix, except for the last episode, which I have coming on disc goddamnit.)
(Available on instant netflix, except for the last episode, which I have coming on disc goddamnit.)Currently listening to a lot of Bright Eyes, album: "I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
".
". Still on Season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with James, although I think we only have 3 episodes left. Shit has hit the fan and it's about time to clean it up.
Work can be incredibly boring. I keep Failbook open just in case anyone wants to talk to me (although I try my hardest not to get caught with it on my screen...) and save me from boredom.
I spend a good amount of time reading Freakonomics
, but there's only so many statistics I can take in before my brain and eyes hurt more than they already do.
, but there's only so many statistics I can take in before my brain and eyes hurt more than they already do. This recent onslaught of headaches, tired eyes, and overall drowsiness is caused by any combination of the following things:
1) Side-effects of new meds,
2) Not getting enough sleep,
3) Staring at a computer screen for the vast majority of my waking hours,
4) Waking up early every morning,
5) Well if I could tame all my desires, wait out the weather that howls in my brain. Because it seems that it’s always changing, the wind’s indecision, the sorrowful rain.
Going to Zach's concert tonight. I want to go, I mean I know it means a lot to him that I am, but... middle-schoolers T_T And my mom t-t She just stresses me OUT! T__T
And where did all my time go?
Right now I just kind of want to play Oblivion
... That would be calming right now, I think.
... That would be calming right now, I think.Not that I'm not calm. I'm just tired. And my brain is agitated. UGH.
And it is always just my luck that I have to use the men's restroom because someone is always in mine.
Yesterday's favorite Daily Deviation:
KATIE JUST HIT ME IN THE HEAD.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Oh, Pretty Things...
A girl likes to look at pretty things, every once and awhile. Lace and velvet, ribbon and whalebone. I blame Emilee for linking me. Never heard of eCrater before, but I do now!
Japanese Warrior Princess Corset
Victorian Black & White Dress
Purple Medieval Blouse
Sailor Tattoo Bustier
Leather Lace Silk Halter Top
Velvety Blood Velour Jacket
Houndstooth Bustier
Sleeveless Checkered Peplum 
Satin Pleated Tank Top
Can Can Striped Bra
And then of course the one me AND Emilee want...
Steampunk Gothic Lolita Corset
Victorian Black & White Dress
Purple Medieval Blouse
Sailor Tattoo Bustier
Leather Lace Silk Halter Top
Velvety Blood Velour Jacket
Houndstooth Bustier
Sleeveless Checkered Peplum 
Satin Pleated Tank Top
Can Can Striped Bra
And then of course the one me AND Emilee want...
Steampunk Gothic Lolita Corset
OH MAH GAWD PRETTIIEESSZ!!
I'll never be able to afford pretties. T_T
I'll never be able to afford pretties. T_T
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The Truth Won't Save You Now
Netflix: Dollhouse Season 1
Book: Freakonomics
iTunes: "Mrs. O" The Dresden Dolls
The front entryway to my apartment building smells like cheap beer and old cigarettes.
The parking lot, on the other hand, smelled like fried chicken, and a man walking around caused me to question: what came first? The swagger or the pants that only stay on because you're gripping them tight?
It's not that I don't like black people.
In fact, I used to want to be a black person.
(Then came a Native American phase, and then the inevitable Asian phase that has not only lasted the longest but probably has no end in sight.)
Why did I have this want to be anything other than my own race?
(Other than the obvious: white people suck. But this isn't a history lesson.)
The best answer I can think of is that ever since I can remember, I wanted to be different.
(Why I wanted to "be different" is unbeknown to me, as, like most people, I cannot remember most of those early, terribly important years that shape who we are to become later in life.)
"Being" different isn't really "doing" anything, is it? One can be "different" and no one can give a damn. What's the point in being "different," anyway? I'd do it to piss people off, I'd do it to make people uncomfortable, I'd to it to make them stare. In the grand scheme of things, this is relatively pointless, embarrassing, and childish. Softcore rebellion, at its core. So, unconsciously, my goal must have been changed... I wanted to prove people wrong.
It has only been in the past year that I have come upon the realization that "proving 'them' wrong" has been the impetus of so many of my actions, of so many why-I-do-the-things-I-do's.
Against the odds, defying the statistics, flattening stereotypes.
I wanted to make people comfortable in what they knew and twist it in their face.
I wanted quiet shock, a double take, an invisible reaction.
I wanted people to open their fucking eyes, without,
Without knowing that it had been my goal, all along.
I have, can, and will continually do things just to prove you wrong. That's something about my that will probably not be changing for awhile.
And so I wonder.
Maybe I wanted to be black and not have a baby on my hip, not find grills the least bit attractive, not wear South Pole no matter how good my ass looks in it, and not listen to music about the shootings going down in my momma's 'hood.
But if I were black, would I want to be white?
Book: Freakonomics
iTunes: "Mrs. O" The Dresden Dolls
The front entryway to my apartment building smells like cheap beer and old cigarettes.
The parking lot, on the other hand, smelled like fried chicken, and a man walking around caused me to question: what came first? The swagger or the pants that only stay on because you're gripping them tight?
It's not that I don't like black people.
In fact, I used to want to be a black person.
(Then came a Native American phase, and then the inevitable Asian phase that has not only lasted the longest but probably has no end in sight.)
Why did I have this want to be anything other than my own race?
(Other than the obvious: white people suck. But this isn't a history lesson.)
The best answer I can think of is that ever since I can remember, I wanted to be different.
(Why I wanted to "be different" is unbeknown to me, as, like most people, I cannot remember most of those early, terribly important years that shape who we are to become later in life.)
"Being" different isn't really "doing" anything, is it? One can be "different" and no one can give a damn. What's the point in being "different," anyway? I'd do it to piss people off, I'd do it to make people uncomfortable, I'd to it to make them stare. In the grand scheme of things, this is relatively pointless, embarrassing, and childish. Softcore rebellion, at its core. So, unconsciously, my goal must have been changed... I wanted to prove people wrong.
It has only been in the past year that I have come upon the realization that "proving 'them' wrong" has been the impetus of so many of my actions, of so many why-I-do-the-things-I-do's.
Against the odds, defying the statistics, flattening stereotypes.
I wanted to make people comfortable in what they knew and twist it in their face.
I wanted quiet shock, a double take, an invisible reaction.
I wanted people to open their fucking eyes, without,
Without knowing that it had been my goal, all along.
I have, can, and will continually do things just to prove you wrong. That's something about my that will probably not be changing for awhile.
And so I wonder.
Maybe I wanted to be black and not have a baby on my hip, not find grills the least bit attractive, not wear South Pole no matter how good my ass looks in it, and not listen to music about the shootings going down in my momma's 'hood.
But if I were black, would I want to be white?
Friday, May 7, 2010
Gentle Rain
We both are lost & alone in the world
Walk with me, in the gentle rain
Don't be afraid,
I've a hand for your hand
and I will be your love for awhile
I feel your tears
as they fall on my cheek
They are warm, like the gentle rain
Come little one, you've got me in the world
and our love will be sweet, very sweet
Very sweet, very sad
Like the gentle rain,
like the gentle rain.
Walk with me, in the gentle rain
Don't be afraid,
I've a hand for your hand
and I will be your love for awhile
I feel your tears
as they fall on my cheek
They are warm, like the gentle rain
Come little one, you've got me in the world
and our love will be sweet, very sweet
Very sweet, very sad
Like the gentle rain,
like the gentle rain.
My favorite song of the moment is quite uncharacteristic.
Astrud Gilberto is "a Brazilian singer known for her samba and bossa nova music," says Wikipedia.
"Gentle Rain" can be found on her album "The Shadow of Your Smile," released in 1965.
These adjectives describing her nationality, music, and time period are unexpected in my taste.
But I like it.
Classy, yet sadly sassy?
Astrud Gilberto is "a Brazilian singer known for her samba and bossa nova music," says Wikipedia.
"Gentle Rain" can be found on her album "The Shadow of Your Smile," released in 1965.
These adjectives describing her nationality, music, and time period are unexpected in my taste.
But I like it.
Classy, yet sadly sassy?
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